The Learner

I knew nobody in Cologne, Germany, when I came in late August 2017. Although that was the second time I travelled to a foreign country, the first time was completely different. I was with my wife and a friend, while other friends in Punjab, our destination, were waiting to receive us. Thus, there was no confusion whatsoever. However, at the Cologne airport, I felt adrift. I spoke with a kind friend living in another city, not far from Cologne. He tried his best to guide me on what to do, but I felt more tangled. Finally, unsure where to go, I dragged my bags to the exit. A frail-looking elderly man approached me, raising an A4-size paper with “Barka da zuwa, Malam Ibrahim” written on it. I didn’t know about his coming, and I wasn’t used to being addressed as “Ibrahim,” my surname. His smile and his “hi” halted my bewilderment. He spoke to me in faltering Hausa, adding to my surprise, and asked to hold one of the bags. I respect old age, so I declined. As he insisted, I let him.   ...

Muhsin Ibrahim @muhsin234 Starting with an apology to the 19th-century great novelist, Charles Dickens, as the title of this piece was inspired by the title of his 1859’s historical novel; the contexts of the two texts cannot, however, be related. The article chronicles my short stays at Mumbai, India, and Lagos in Nigeria, while making a kind of comparison between the two, and then with my birthplace, Kano. This was motivated by the striking parallels I have discovered between the two cities. For instance, both are the commercial capitals of their country; both neighboured seas; both are like convergent points of different ethnic groups; both headquartered one of the world’s leading film industries; both are lands of opportunities; both are populated by the posh and the poor people; etc. This is a continuation of my Facebook status update while still in Lagos a couple of days ago. In reaction to the said status update, some people said that I have not seen anything yet in...

Muhsin Ibrahim @muhsin234 ‘Personal’ In accordance with a pseudoscience called Astrology practiced and believed by many people, I should consider June 1 as a lucky day in my life. I don’t. I won’t. I don’t believe in superstition. But no doubt, the day stands unique in my life for at least two life-shaping, life-changing events: both my dream job and my dearest wife came to my life on this day in 2012 and 2013, respectively. Thus, I think the day, annually, deserves a particular remembrance and commemoration, even though in, strictly speaking, a non-ritualistic style. That is why I write to, among other things, thank the Almighty Allah. I generally have a lot to thank Him for, not only these days. Alhamdulillah . This year is unforgettable, though quite tough. I and my wife returned to Nigeria from India after a two-year postgraduate study on June 24, 2015, less than a month into the new government of President Muhammadu Buhari (PMB).  We couldn’t believe what we me...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim @muhsin234 Why did you come to study in India if it is not better than your country, Nigeria? Three keen followers of my blog, one Indian and two Nigerians, and whom I respect, impliedly asked me the above after reading one of my non-romantic articles  on India. Yes, India is ahead of Nigeria in terms of many developmental indexes like the economy, military establishment and infrastructure. It is however ahead of it also on various other unmentionable indexes such as racism, communal clashes, maternal mortality, female foeticide and infanticide; child labour and slavery, etc. Though, mosaic as India is, you can’t, or rather shouldn’t, generalise. No hyperbole in the above comparison: each country has its good and bad sides. My coming to India, as I said before, was deliberate and purposed. I dug deeper and had a lengthy back-and-forth over email with the university I was joining. My area of specialisation is film-related (not English as many,...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim muhsin2008@gmail.com @muhsin234 Islam and its about 2 billions adherents suffer an acute ad hominem criticism in various places in the world today. The condemnations are wide and wild. While the notorious one centres on terrorism carried out by some Muslims, dubbed extremists; a salient other one is on the many prohibitions embedded in the religion. A non-Muslim friend of mine once told me, “I can’t practice Islam. There are more ‘Noes’ than there are ‘Yeses’ in it”. I didn’t quickly affirm or snub her allegation. I instead felt the need to study the whole thing thoroughly, and so I did. There are of course many “noes”, which are, nonetheless, for the wellness of humankind. For instance, Islam bans all intoxicants (cigarette and alcohol deserve particular mention), pork meat, interest and usury, any sexual immodesty (adultery, fornication, incest, phonograph, etc.); gay marriage, among others. Religion is religion. It must not always seem reasona...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim @muhsin234 Astrologists would want me to believe that June 1 is my lucky day. I will however not take them serious, as I don’t believe in that pseudoscience. But no doubt, the day stands unique in my life. At least two life-shaping incidents happened to me. First, I assumed duty as a Graduate Assistant at the prestigious Bayero University , Kano in 2012. Second, exactly a year later, I got married to the lady I have always appreciated being with. For anything, the day cannot go by like other days. I think it deserves a particular remembrance and commemoration, though not in any ritualistic manner. This year was unlike the previous one. I had then wanted to give a tantalizing treat to my wife, which was subsequently marred by some chilling and killing incidents in both Nigeria and India that do not bear repeating here.  I had not planned to do anything special for this year, nor write a single word until about an hour or so ago. I had had, t...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim @muhsin234 Wait, the pidgin I know? That’s for the uneducated folks only. Did you just say that? Then you are wrong. The importance of this debased language is far beyond what you think. This is not a new discovery. It’s a fact. That’s why many people campaigned for the pidgin (or, better, the c reole ) spoken in their countries to be formalised, standardised and even officialised. But that was  barely   achieved in a few nations like Papua New Guinea , the Philippines and Sierra Leon . Although India is far more diverse than Nigeria, many Indians are often amazed that we speak English among ourselves, and not ‘Nigerian’. They think there is a popular language used in the country by that name the same way Hindi is in India. We only have Nigerian Pidgin English (NPE) spoken by a healthy minority, I would say, and scores of other languages. A detour: India’s other names are Hindustan (the root word of Hindi, a popular language, and Hinduism,...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim @muhsin234 The elections were over. The winners (and losers, too) are known, and Nigerians await their inaugurations on May 29 th . However, the repercussion of the elections is far from over. Igbos, whose undaunted, though paranoiac, doubt of Hausa-Fulani leadership forbade them to vote for Gen. Buhari, are still being brazenly abused, esp. on cyberspace. And they respond in crudest kind by calling their attackers with unprintable names. This is but one case out of many that are raping Nigeria along ethnic lines. It’s sadder that the indigene-settler dichotomy is still existent even within our constitution; mobility freedom of citizens seldom crippled by arrests of northerners in the south; and the so-called quarter system truncating chances of getting job. I don’t forget the far more horrible, countless ethno-religious crises in many cities and villages like Jos, Zankuwa, etc that claimed lives of thousands. It tears me up inside. I am often left ...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim muhsin2008@gmail.com @muhsin234 A dictionary definition of the word “trust” says: “ If you trust someone, you believe they are honest and sincere and will not deliberately do anything to harm you. ” Many of us used to take the famous Guaranty Trust Bank (GTB), Nigeria as such, for in addition to that word, its name includes another resolute, confirmatory word: guaranty. However, they have recently betrayed that name by acting in its exact opposite. We are now gravely harmed by them; and the bank's handlers are consistently being insincere and dishonest to us. It was and still is a bombshell, as a friend described it, for the GTB users living in India, Malaysia, Indonesia, South Korea and St. Kitts waking up with our Naira MasterCard as a little better than a piece of sh*t. Yes, for one cannot withdraw a Kobo with it from any ATM even if one has trillions in his/her account. The bank blocked all our cards without any deliberation on the con...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim muhsin2008@gmail.com @muhsin234 In a concluding remark of our long phone call, a Nigerian friend studying in Delhi told me about the Kano Grand Mosque bombs during the Jumu’at prayers. How come? I had lately made calls to the city and, as a tradition, I asked about Jumu’at prayers. None said a word on the blast. My mind was instantly boggled. A voice from within tried to calm me; it said that that was a rumour . It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be there. Not now; never. After all, the Grand Mosque was the safest niche the good people of Kano would escape to when the Ya'juj and Ma'juj (Gog and Magog) come in the end of the world. I used to think it that way in my childhood, but not without reason. The aura of belonging and the serenity one feels inside the mosque is beyond description. Many, if not all, that grew up in the Kano metro some 20 years ago or more know what I am talking about.         My mind ke...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim muhsin2008@gmail.com @muhsin234 I was passing by a group of students in our department, drying my face with a handkerchief after performing my ablution for namaz (i.e. prayers/salat) when one girl approached me and said she would like to do the prayers with me that day. I thought she was just joking, so I inattentively went by, saying she was welcome. I was about to start when she came with a run. It took me many minutes to convince her that she couldn’t (and shouldn’t) follow me. Disappointed, she gave up. I trembled, internally, through the prayers’ session for the fear of what might have happened had I given in to her ‘request’ and we were seen afterwards. It would have been suspected as what’s commonly called “Love Jihad”. Forgive the detour: I am happily married to a dutiful and, of course, beautiful wife. We have been together here in Jalandhar , India for nearly a year and a half. So, I am not here for love or for any congenial relationshi...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim muhsin2008@gmail.com @muhsin234 (Twitter) “It looks foreign”, my Indian friends so often tell me while describing how scenic and highly-developed a particular place is. It happened first while my wife and I were touring the capital, New Delhi last winter. We were entering the subway system called the 'metro' when my friend guiding us said we would feel as if in a foreign country down there. It didn’t dawn on me then until I heard the same expressions time and again from more friends. They obviously forget that everywhere is foreign to me as I am a foreigner , a Nigerian. My country is thousands of miles away. However, each time the incident occurs, it reminds me of a similar preconceived notion of foreign superiority back in Nigeria . In the same vein, Nigerians would quickly brag that their particular possession was made in a foreign country, not in Nigeria ! Pragmatically speaking, the whole concept of “Ƙasar Waje” as we call a foreign c...

Muhammad Muhsin Ibrahim muhsin2008@gmail.com @muhsin234 (Twitter) An investigation by the World Value Survey   discovered that India and Jordan top the list of the least racially tolerant countries on the planet . As an African living in the former for over a year, I have witnessed a number of such incidents. Indians, particularly northerners, associate colour with higher or lower social standing. Needless to say, the lighter colour is held in esteem, while the dark in contempt or as “low caste”. It has been happening for so long and itching for sometimes. I often didn’t care or show any reaction, knowing that racism is a hot-button issue. But I was now pushed to the wall; I had better spill the beans to, at least, get some relief. It is worth noting, though, that we are individuals. Some equally ‘light-skinned’ Indians would treat you dearer than your own dark-skinned brethren. I have met some of such individuals, one of whom once took me and my wife to his hous...