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(173): Girls: Between Education and Marriage

Marriage is vital. I am a product of marriage and have been married for over a decade. However, we must teach our daughters that there are other achievements besides or in addition to getting married.

 

While looking for a second wife, a friend met a girl. However, upon realising that she was not his type and that she "accepted" him only because she was idle and had no other suitor, he promised to help her start a business and return to school.

 

He first gave her a small amount of capital to restart the snacks business, which she said she had once done. Months later, she did not do anything. He, in fact, realised that she had most likely wasted the money. He was angry and sad but didn't give up on his mission to better her life. 

 

Since she left secondary school without sitting for the senior secondary school examination (SSCE) due to family issues, he gave her money to register for this year's WAEC/NECO examination. As I type this, she has not done so yet. She only dreams of getting married, and this girl is only 19 years old.


According to several matchmakers' accounts, men nowadays prefer a woman of substance or, at least, some potential. But here you are, without even a secondary school certificate, any skill, or a suitor. You are a liability. But that's not the girl's 'mistake' in toto.

 

Often, the first prayer we utter when we see a beautiful girl is "Allah ya sa mu ga aurenki" (may we witness your marriage). Very good! Amin. But how about other life accomplishments? For whatever reason, the husbands are no longer as available as they used to be. 

 

Don't raise a girl thinking that she's just created to procreate. She has what it takes to do a lot more. Parents and guardians need to do better. We are in a new era. "Idan kida ya canza, dole rawa to canza", loosely meaning "when the beats change, the dance steps have to change".

 

I am not against marriage, lest that was not apparent from the above. I first published the piece on Facebook, and regrettably, some people accused me of discouraging marriage. That was wrong. 

 

May Allah bless our lives all the more, amin.

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